How they differ: Tennis Players and Male Strippers
by rennomiya
Summary: In which Ryoma gets frustrated over a male stripper seducing his wife. One-shot. RyoSaku. Rated T for certain words.


A vein on his forehead twitched.

He cannot believe it. Oh, he _just _cannot believe it!

How could this happen? He thought he could trust her with them!

His pair of amber orbs narrowed.

This just goes to show that you should never EVER trust your wife's best friends alone with her inside their house. This is an abomination! It was uncalled for! It was one heck of a sort-of betrayal! How dare they? He would never trust them ever again! He would never leave his Sakuno alone in their house again!

He just came home from tennis practice and the sight that greeted him was already _this. _He, what, just left her with them for five hours. Five. Stupid. Hours.

And _this _is what happened!

He was sure—he was pretty darn sure—that it was Osakada's idea. And Tachibana-imouto must've agreed to it. He could understand if Osakada was the one who proposed _this _but now even Tachibana-imouto! That's it! They were completely banned from seeing his wife. FOREVER.

He stepped into the living room where there are three girls and one freaking male stripper. What the fuck? How the fuck? Why the fuck?

"OI!" he yelled as he noticed that none of the people in the living room had been aware of his presence.

Osakada and Tachibana-imouto's heads quickly turned to him. Sakuno's _so-called friends' _had annoying sly grins plastered on their faces but when they finally registered _who _had come home _early _that night, their idiotic grins turned into fear. Yes, that's right. Fear him.

His eyes rolled towards Sakuno, who was still not aware of his presence. Her face was beet red as she stared at the male stripper dancing in front of her. He could see that she was trying her best not to look at a certain bulk _down there. _He grunted. His fury got even worse as he thought about Sakuno's, _his Sakuno's, _blushing that _wasn't _meant for _him._

He was fuming. Fuming real bad. Osakada and Tachibana-imouto are going to pay for this.

His eyes went back to the girl-duo _that he didn't trust anymore. _They were still looking terrified. As expected.

"R-Ryoma-sama! L-Listen! T-This is _not _what it looks like, I swear!" Osakada stuttered. If it wasn't what it looks like, then why does it look like something that it doesn't look like what it really does look like? Argh, whatever. You get him.

"T-That's right, E-Echizen-kun… T-This guy j-just happens to…" Tachibana-imouto's voice faded away. What? This guy just happens to randomly stepped out of a night club and randomly entered their house? Don't think so.

"Wait till Momo-senpai hears this," Ryoma threatened. Tachibana-imouto's hair literally stood up as she heard him say that.

"N-NO! D-DON'T, ECHIZEN-KUN! MOMOSHIRO-KUN WILL GET MAD AT ME!" she yelled.

Ryoma glowered at them. He was emitting an I-don't-give-a-damn-now-get-out-of-my-house aura. He advanced towards Sakuno's 'best friends' and the two, now scared out of their wits, stepped back with every step he took until they were already at the porch and finally out of his house.

He slammed the door angrily and stomped towards Sakuno.

Oh right…

He forgot about the freaking male stripper.

… Who seemed to be still dancing seductively in front of his wife…

The male stripper continued on seducing Sakuno, but when he felt a freaky aura coming from behind him, followed by the sound of cracking knuckles, he paled and stopped. He slowly turned around to see where the source was coming from and as soon as his terrified eyes met Ryoma's angered ones, he forced a smile and ran away from their house, not bothering to put on some decent clothes.

Good for him. The pervert. Ryoma wished he'd get arrested for running around half-naked in the streets.

Sakuno sighed in relief once the stripper was out. She weakly allowed herself to drop on the couch, glad that her awkward moment with the stripper she barely knew was now over. She was completely red in the face and her eyes showed embarrassment.

When Ryoma squatted in front of her to meet her eyes, she instantly covered her face with her hands. She was too embarrassed to meet her husband's face right now. And she was also scared that he was angry with her for indirectly cheating on him… though it was not her idea.

Ryoma exhaled to release some tension between the two of them and he patted Sakuno's head. "It's okay. I'm not mad at you. So…" Ryoma's comforting (at least what looked like it) aura immediately disappeared once he said, "… who was the one who invited the man whore?"

Sakuno's face flushed again and she covered her face again with her hands. "T-T-Tomo-chan…"

Hah. He knew it. It was her.

It's _always _her.

Sometimes he wished that his wife never met her lifelong best friend. That loudmouth's going to be the end of him someday.

"Why?" he asked, his voice was indicating that he was frustrated.

Sakuno began trembling and her whole body turned red. "A-Anou… i-is it me… or i-is it h-hot in h-here?"

"Don't avoid the topic, Sakuno," Ryoma warned.

Scared of Ryoma's warning she answered, "Tomo-chan wanted me to compare S-Stripper-san's… S-Stripper-san's… a-anou… h-h-his… e-eto… Stripper-san's… anou…"

"What?" Impatient, Ryoma half-yelled.

"O-O-O-Organ… w-w-with you…" she continued.

"Organ? What organ?" Ryoma confusedly asked. Were they talking about internal organs or the organs used in churches or whatever?

She blushed even more, if that was even possible. "Y-You know… _those organs_," she said uncomfortably.

"Huh?" Ryoma raised a questioning brow.

"… m-male organ…" she whispered awkwardly.

Oh.

Male organ.

Osakada wanted his wife to compare the stripper's penis with his.

"WHAT!"

Sakuno held a pillow in front of her face for protection. "G-Gomen! I tried to stop her but she already called Stripper-san. A-A-Apparently, she knew that guy since she once visited the club with some of our college batch mates!"

Ryoma's eye twitched.

Osakada, you are so dead.

She's dead for three reasons: 1) For tainting his wife with another man, 2) For encouraging his wife to cheat on him, and 3) For existing. Yes, that's right. Osakada shouldn't have existed.

Then, as he looked at Sakuno's face (from behind the pillow), a question popped on his head right away.

"So… Sakuno, before I go off and kill Osakada and Tachibana-imouto," Ryoma trailed off. Sakuno slightly dropped the pillow and looked at him straight in the eyes. He noticed that some tears are threatening to fall out from her eyes. Guess she couldn't take the embarrassing moment with the stripper.

"Y-Yes…?" she asked.

"Whose _sword of glory_ is larger?" he asked, half-embarrassed, half-curious. Seriously, this was not the time to be asking that! But eh. What the hell. Let us not let Osakada's plan go to waste. He was a bit curious too so whatever.

Her slowly fading blush returned again. She slowly lowered her head to look at… _that part of his_… and her face showed embarrassment again. "S-Should I really answer?"

"Yes," the tennis prince persisted.

Wow. What a conversation. They're actually talking about penises. No… let's rephrase that. _Sakuno's _talking about penises. Talk about OOCness.

Sakuno cried and made Ryoma panic a bit. "H-Hey, sorry. Didn't mean to. You don't have to answer anymore…"

Ryoma stood up, slightly feeling awkward about having that kind of talk with his sweet, innocent (well, not anymore) wife.

"Anyway, I got to go," he said, "Where does Osakada live again? And where do we keep the matches? I'll buy gasoline on the way."

She stared at him with her horror-stricken face. "R-Ryoma-kun!"

"Kiddin'. I'm off to the convenient store to buy something," he said and went out of the house, a lighter in hand and a devious smile on his face.

'_This is for being my wife's _best _friend.'_

_Mada mada dane._

**.OwArI.**

A/N: Pay no attention to the perversion… and pay more attention to the story… Hah. Yeah right. The perversion _is _the story (lol) Here's a plotless one-shot for you guys out there ;) Let's just hope that Ryoma didn't actually burn Tomo's house, haha.

Prince of Tennis © Konomi Takeshi.

**.OmAkE.**

"So Saku-chan~ tell me!" Ann excitedly asked through the phone. "Who's dick's larger? Echizen-kun or Stripper-kun~?"

"A-Anou… A-Ann-chan… I really d-don't want to a-answer that… A-Anyway… do you know where Tomo-chan is? I-I can't contact her…"

"Tomoka? Well, not sure. But when your _loving_ husband kicked us out, we both decided to just stay home. Tomoka's probably at her house right now."

"B-But… her phone line's cut off. And I can't contact her phone…"

"Oh geez. Stop worrying to much. She's probably at the club again and getting it on with another man. You know her. Anyway… please answer my question~" Ann begged.

Sakuno gave up and finally (half-heartedly) answered, "Stripper-kun. B-But don't tell Ryoma-kun okay? It'll crush his pride! You know how he treasured his pride!"

Ann laughed. After getting her needed answer, she bid farewell to her friend and Sakuno turned her phone off.

Just as she clicked the end button on her phone, a hand suddenly grabbed her wrist and led her to their room.

She didn't realize it was Ryoma who dragged her there (and was apparently finally home after 'going to the convenient store') until he pinned her on the bed.

She blushed, still not quite used to his seme-ness.

Then, she noticed that his eyes were dark and dull. "R-Ryoma-kun? What's wrong?"

"The man whore's dick's better than me, huh?" he threateningly asked. Gasp! He heard her phone talk with Ann! Ouch with his manly pride. Poor prince.

Sakuno gulped. She knew what's going to happen next. Knowing Ryoma, to retain his pride, he'll do something to compensate for it. And the compensation for that would be obviously… ehem… Sakuno's body.

"Let me show you how strippers differ from tennis players."


End file.
